Delmar DeWilde on lead vocals; Sherry Shaoling, Hai Jung, and Starr Kalahiki on backing vocals; Rockford Holmes on soprano sax; Lopaka Colon on dumbek; Noel Okimoto on marimba, vibes, and djembe; Jason Segler on drums; Dean Taba on bass; Perry Coma on electric piano and organ.

Hiho then, here we are, safely ensconced, belly up to the bar.  Well, we are, that is, if you were listening to and reading the notes concerning "The Palanquin," a song whose sole raison dʻetre is to set up "Pagan Lust."  So, if you havenʻt yet auditioned/researched "The Palanquin," go do the right thing -- buy the file/back up the CD one program number, attentively listen, and rejoin us hep people here at a later, more enlightened time.

Phew.  Now that weʻve gotten rid of THOSE people, we can proceed here.  Ahem.  Pagan Lust is the name of the theoretical progenitor-drink of all tiki-bar concoctions.  Its recipe hints at a wild array of Masonically-kept secret ingredients.  Its only design is to knock the imbiber silly into gleeful happiness, which, of course, is extremely dangerous to those poops who wish to control your behavior.  I can reassure you, however, that when youʻre with Don Tiki, you are with friends.  Facebook friends, to be exact.  Now go tell your other pals to get hepped and support exotica nouvelle (just made that up) music by buying many many Don Tiki CDs!  They make the perfect gift!  Buy now!!  Now!!!  Recall, if you will, that for us merchvolk, the Holiday Season is always Just Around The Corner.  Now, give!  [Ed.: this pitch may need to be toned down somewhat.]

           Delmar                                                        The Girls

Whatever you do
To help you make it through
Whatever you do
Do what you must
But whatever you do, donʻt drink
Whatever you do, donʻt drink
Whatever you do, donʻt drink
that Pagan Lust

Whatever you drink                                   Ooh, doot doot
To put you in the pink                               Ooh, doot doot                             
Itʻs not what you think                               Ooh, doot doot
In God youʻll trust                                       Get serious
So, whatever you do, donʻt drink            Donʻt drink
Whatever you do, donʻt drink                  Donʻt drink
Whatever you do, donʻt drink                  No, you mustnʻt drink
that Pagan Lust                                         

Oh, listen o me, people,                           Canʻt stop
Youʻll be swimminʻ in sin                         Canʻt stop, bop bop
You can smell the guava
But thereʻs red-hot lava
in a cobra skin                                           You can only begin
Youʻll feel the fangs of a dragon             Stay on the wagon
Through a palace guardʻs boot               Donʻt try and get cute
Youʻll do the full-quart squirm,                 ʻAʻa
You tequila worm,                                       Lava
Through the passion fruit                          A-rooty toot toot

Overloading your sense
Itʻs simply too intense
An experience
Not worth the fuss                                      Calamitous
So, whatever you do, donʻt drink            Donʻt drink
Whatever you do, donʻt drink                  Donʻt drink
Whatever you do, donʻt drink                  No, you mustnʻt drink
that Pagan Lust                                         Go on, tell the people about it

Itʻs a drink so kinky
They serve it in a hookah
With a kick so kicky
Man, itʻs like a bazooka                            Chug-a-lugga
Youʻll be losinʻ your composure             Oh, oh, whereʻd it go? My soul --
Youʻll be courtinʻ disaster                         Flyinʻ away
Fast as you can swallow                          Glub glub
Pagan Lust is gonna                                Glub glub
Swallow you faster                                    Glub, give it up!

Ooh, itʻs a little bit oʻ heaven                    Seven-come-eleven
A whole lotta hell                                        Bottom of the well
People get hip
Youʻre wrappinʻ your lips
ʻRound an artillery shell                            Take us to the river
You go nuclear fishinʻ                                Photon, proton
For atomic decay                                        Positron, gamma ray
Thereʻll be no remission                           Karma
For your condition                                      Pharma, hey hey hey!
Tell me whatʻd I say --
One final touch                                            Five, four,
Countdown reaches completion              Three, two,
An elixir so secret                                        Lickety lick, lickety lick
It could be a secretion                                Ewww!!!
Youʻre gonna lose your decorum            (bratty sounds)
Youʻre gonna find dementia                      insane laffs)
                                                                       Youʻll be moaninʻ in the zone
Class, pay attention!
Pagan Lust is a sauce too strong
To chug-a-lug alone 
Youʻll never get home
Youʻre gonna miss your bus                      And donʻt blame us
 So, whatever you do, donʻt drink             Alone
Whatever you do, donʻt drink                     Alone
Whatever you do, pass around                 Just pass around
that Pagan Lust

(random Delmarisms)                                 Ooh, doot doot
                                                                         Ooh, doot doot
                                                                         Youʻll be begginʻ
                                                                         For that Pagan Lust
                                                                         Badup badup ba yap bop